Winning feels great!
Losing doesn’t.
When we lose, are defeated or feel like we’ve failed, we experience uncomfortable feelings.
Often we see this is in competitions, sports, board games or tests.
It doesn’t FEEL good.
And so we will do anything we can to get rid of that feeling. Actions such as…
- Blaming others
- Shouting
- Aggression/Violence
- Sulking
- Demanding a rematch
- Crying
- Withdrawing
- Refusal to engage
It’s all too easy to pass it off with comments such as:
“Don’t worry about it”
“Don’t get angry/cross”
“Don’t be silly”
Instead, we can curious about the uncomfortable FEELINGS we are trying to get rid of.
We also need to be AWARE that this is happening to us.
I like to use the examples of the two games: Hot Potato and Pass the Parcel.
HOT POTATO: We immediately get rid of it so we’re not out of the game (uncomfortable feelings and experiences)
PASS THE PARCEL: We try and keep it so we win a prize (comfortable feelings we like to experience)
Talking to your children about comfortable and uncomfortable emotional visitors and helpful/unhelpful thoughts can help them to notice what they’re doing and why and how they can choose differently.
It’s not the feeling that’s the problem, it’s the way we react or choose to respond to it.
Have a great day!
Jo 😊
Learnful Schools equips and empowers children, teachers and parents with transformational regular mental and emotional and well-being practices. Visit: www.learnful.co.uk/learnful-schools to find out more.
You can share any comments, questions or observations by connecting and following me at:
Twitter: @LearnfulwithJo
Facebook: @learnfulwithjobradley
Instagram: @learnfulwithjo
Linked In: Jo Bradley
I’d love to hear from you,
😊 Jo