Today I delivered mental health and emotional wellbeing practice to groups of Year 9 girls.
I allowed them space to experience feelings in the body and to watch their thoughts.
After two morning sessions, at the start of lunch break, I noticed an emotional discomfort in myself. A unease in my stomach, a frown on my brow. It wasn’t nerves (I’d had them already that day), it was something else.
Instead of ignoring it and carrying on (which is what I used to do because I didn’t know any better), I decided to give it some attention. When I sat with my thoughts and wrote them down in my journal, I had a realisation. My self-worth was resting on those Year 9’s. I needed something from them to feel better about myself. I needed to feel good enough.
Watch the short video which explains how those Year 9’s helped me to learn more about myself and I how I very easily helped myself through it. Going from vunerable and wobbly, to stable and relaxed – and totally unthreatened.
Not only did today help those young ladies with noticing their emotional visitors and thought behaviours, it helped me develop awareness of my self worth and improved my teaching for the final Year 9 group of the day. I actually shared my journalled thoughts with them and asked them how that related to their experiences of ruminating over an event.
Are you aware of when you find yourself looking for verification from others that you’re good enough?
Jo