It’s sometimes simple things that make us go from calm to annoyed very quickly. When we’re tired or hungry, we have even less patience.
What do you get angry with yourself about?
How do you ‘beat yourself up’ with your thoughts and words?
There is another way, and a way that I teach in schools,…by practising self-kindness.
Getting used to being accepting, understanding and forgiving of ourselves and the things we are finding difficult.
You see, it doesn’t come naturally. We are much better at being hard on ourselves.
The Year 2 boy that told me this, now knows what he can say to himself to keep himself calmer (and more likely to succeed in shoelace tying!)…
– I know I find tying my shoelaces tricky
– I’m going to do my best by concentrating
– Loads of people find this hard too, it isn’t just me
– Rather than getting cross, I’m going to stay calm
– If I can’t tie them today, I’ll tell myself well done for having a good go and then I’ll ask someone to help me
– I’ll have another go tomorrow
– I’m awesome 🙂
Next time you catch your children or yourself getting angry or being mean, model self-kindness to them. Tell them what to say. Say it to yourself out loud.
This self-management doesn’t happen overnight, it needs to be taught, experienced and revisited regularly. Not just short-term calm but calmer overall.
I give every child and every teacher in a school, daily experiences of calm, connection and compassion. They practice a little each day so that when they need it – they know what to do.
Learnful School Membership is available now to all UK primary schools and they can start in January. It’s for schools that want to prioritise mental and emotional wellbeing because they value their children and their teachers. Happy teachers, happy children, happy learners!
Email jo@learnful for more details.