YOU: “I’ve had a terrible day.”
PARTNER: “Yeah, me too.”
YOU: “I don’t feel very well.”
PARTNER: “I know what you mean, I’ve felt icky today too.”
Mindful talk helps you to become aware of your own needs and those of others around you.
In the above examples, you want the other person (your partner) to appreciate, understand and have empathy with how you’re feeling. YOU DON’T GET YOUR NEED MET because they turn around the conversation to themselves. They want YOU to understand how they are feeling and have THEIR need met. Both of you are left unsatisfied.
When we learn to mindully talk (and listen) we are AWARE of our responses, in particular, bringing the conversation back round to ourselves. If you catch yourself doing this, then congratulations, you are being mindful of your actions. When you become aware, you are then empowered to choose how you respond.
This is useful for parents because you can MODEL to your children and other family members how to mindfully talk and the more you practise and demonstrate, the more the people around you will LEARN from you.
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Jo x